Cosplay Confession Series #1: Swimsuits and Showing any Skin

Haven’t updated in forever, but now I hope to keep up with this site with a new series I’d like to call “Cosplay Confessions.”

So a lot of times I’m asked the question, “How do you stay so confident?” There are a lot of things I can say in response. I can say how I have amazing friends, a wonderful partner, family, followers, and all sorts of people supporting me. I can go into how I’ve heard negative comments before cosplay, growing up as a black, plus sized geek, and how I added to the quote, unquote “weirdness” by coming out. But instead, I want to do something different.

I’m going to admit to some things.

The truth of the matter is that confidence isn’t a constant. We all can, and do, have bad days. Everyone has moments of insecurity, and I think it’s important to be honest about that. This is because I feel like people sometimes look at me and feel hopeless. They applaud my confidence, but then they look at themselves and feel like they’re doing something wrong because they haven’t felt that good about themselves. So, I’m here to tell you, that there are still things that get to me. I’m still bothered by things, still insecure at times, and have those moments of wanting to hide who I am. I want to tell you this because I think it’s important to show that I’m human, just like you, and I’m not on top of my game all the time. No one is, and that’s normal, and I hope by revealing my insecurities you’ll realize that you’re not alone in this.

So, here’s my first confession:

Cosplay Confession: Swimsuits and showing any skin


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Cosplay is for Every Body Support List

This is not the end all, be all list of supporters, since it’s growing all the time, so if you know someone who should be on this list or you yourself want to be included, please let me know (for example, I live in Minnesota, so there’s a high possibility that I missed any groups that center around a particular state)

These are people I either watch or know personally, or who I have seen speak out about cosplay being something that should include everyone, period. This list features a wide variety of individuals who have been supportive in the community 🙂

Brichibi Cosplays (me)

KuramaBabe Kirkland

Akiko Kawaii 

Sweets4aSweet Cosplay

Teh Princess Cosplay

Knightmage

Twin Fools and his Youtube channel

Lonstermash

Jay Justice

Silver Star Cosplay

Dragonmaster Blaine

Raquel Cosplay

Pozer Ninja Cosplay 

Parle Productions

Essie Cosplay (writer for Geek Eccentric)

Strange Land Costuming (made my very first cosplay)

Verssen Werks

Dizzylizzy Costuming

Alanaleilani

Maki Roll’s Chop Shop (author of the article, “I’m a Black Cosplayer and I’m just as Good as Other Cosplayers) https://www.facebook.com/makilovesunicorns

Princess Mentality Cosplay (author of the article, “I’m a Black Female Cosplayer and Some People Hate It)

Misa on Wheels

Daikon Cosplay

Infinite Sky Cosplay

Chocolate Covered Cosplay

Midnight Pursona (and the piece that was written)

 

Facebook Groups to Watch

The Royal Sisterhood

Plus Sized Cosplay (Only Sizes 14+)

Plus Sized Cosplayers in the USA

Minnesota Cosplayers

Plus Sized Cosplay Appreciation

Cosplay Worldwide

Geek Eccentric

Cosplayers Against Bullying

Just Love; Cosplay

Liquor, Games, and Fuckin’ Video Games (has a Curvy Wednesday):

Cosplay: It Unites Us

Be The Minority

The Curvy Geek

Cosplay is NOT Consent

 

Tumblr Groups to Watch

Fuck Yeah Fat Positive

Chubby Bunnies

Body Positive Cosplay Appreciation

Fuck Yeah Fat Cosplay

Cosplaying While Black

Cosfluff 101

Cross-Race Cosplay

Sassy Chubbies

Cosplaying While Trans

 

Magazines

Curvy Cosplay Magazine (coming soon in print!)

Love Cosplay Magazine

 

Non-Cosplay Support

The Big Girl Blog: Tales of a Plus Sized Princess in New York City

Chunky Girl Comics

Tess Munster

Plus Size Modeling

Geek Slink (bellydancing)

Scoundrelle’s Keep (clothing)

It Gets Better Project

Erin Lane

 

Articles to Read

It Happened to Me: I’m a Plus-Size Cosplayer

I’m a Black Cosplayer and I’m Just as Good as Other Cosplayers

I’m a Black Female Cosplayer and Some People Hate It

I’m Demanding Better Representation for Black Girl Nerds in Geek Culture

Dear Insecure/Unsure Cosplayer

 

Videos to Watch

Even Kids think Everyone Should Cosplay

 

Throwback Thursday: Everyone Starts Somewhere

So there I was, surfing the internet, when I found a page that was using a rather old cosplay picture of my friends and I as their header.  And when I say old, I mean old.  2004 old, in fact.  Wow, have I really been cosplaying for that long?

I think, if you cosplay, you should definitely take a moment to look back at your first cosplay.  It’s a great reminder to see how far you’ve come.  Cosplay is always about having fun emulating the character of your choice, but it’s also a great way to see how you’ve changed and improved over time.  I think people don’t realize that, when it comes to cosplay, everyone starts somewhere.  Cosplay is a learning process and, over time, you learn different tricks and your skills improve.  You become better at your craft as you do it more often.

For those of you who are just now getting into cosplay, I know it can feel intimidating going to a convention and seeing all of the “omg amazing” cosplayers out there.  But the honest truth is that they all started somewhere.  They all were, once upon a time, right where you are now.  And here’s some photo evidence to prove it:

This was my first cosplay with my two friends, back at the first Anime Detour in 2004:

first cosplay

This is us doing Yu Yu Hakusho cosplay and my friend in the middle made the cosplay for me.  This was the start of my cosplay journey.

This picture has special meaning to me when I stop and think about it.  I first discovered cosplay at Anime Central back in 2002.  I was really interested in doing it but quickly discovered how there are so few characters who look like me.  Today, of course, I know that you can (and should) cosplay who you want, but back then I thought I needed to find that plus sized, black, female character.

Later, I discovered Yu Yu Hakusho and I fell in love with the series and with Kurama.  The Hiei cosplay in the picture said she would make me the costume to match her.  I remember putting the costume on in the bathroom and being nervous to walk out as this character who wasn’t black, who was skinny, and who was male (I even tried binding my chest which became a lost cause, back then I didn’t really know any good methods of doing so). Thanks to my friend’s encouragement (and my partner’s encouragement, who was cosplaying Gaara from Naruto), I walked out that door and never looked back.

We met the other Kurama cosplayer in the picture later during the convention.  We ended up hanging out and becoming friends (we’re all still friends now).  She ended up giving me some pretty hilarious, but solid advice, that I ended up sticking to for the rest of my cosplay days:

Be the best, big breasted, black Yoko Kurama that you can be.

There aren’t a lot of characters who I look like, but that’s not what matters.  What matters is that I love the characters I cosplay, and it’s up to me to do the best I can in being that character.  Instead of focusing on what I’m not, I needed to focus on what I was and embrace it.  Cosplay isn’t about meeting requirements, but sharing your love for a certain character, doing your best, and having fun.

That’s why looking back at your first cosplay is so important.  It’s your first step into this world.  When I first looked at this picture I thought, “Oh.  My.  God.”  But when I stopped to think about it I realized, wow, I’ve come a long way haven’t I?  And so have my friends, we all have.  This picture is proof of progress and growth.  I’ve gone from one costume a year and one or two cons a year to several costumes and conventions all over the place.  I really was the best, big breasted, black Yoko Kurama, and that keeps improving over time.

Here is a testament to what I’ve been saying: everyone starts somewhere, and after ten years, here is where my friends and I are now:

My latest cosplay: Neo Queen Serenity

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My friends (the Hiei and human Kurama) cosplaying with two of their friends.  You can find more work via Strange Land Costuming:

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The human Kurama cosplayer is on the left while the Hiei cosplayer is on the right.  Look how much has changed!

So please, always remember, that every cosplayer starts somewhere.

 

Extra Note:  I’m not sure who did the art in my feature image, but it’s a picture I’ve seen all over the place online.  If anyone knows who the artist is, please let me know!

That one time I cosplayed from one of my wifey’s favorite anime series

So recently my wonderful wifey finished my Neo Queen Serenity cosplay.  Usually, the process for me getting costumes done is me swooning over a character and me asking her to make it.  After seeing the amazing fanart of asieybarbie, I immediately wanted to do Neo Queen Serenity, so I did my normal, “Please make this for me,” and she smiled and said yes.  But this costume has special meaning.  Sailor Moon is one of her favorite anime series, so she really wanted to make the dress.  That’s not to say I don’t enjoy Sailor Moon, because I do, but this is her childhood series, that anime series you watch with wide eyes because it’s all still so new to you.  And that’s also, not to say, that she didn’t want to make my other costumes, but this one holds a lot of significance.  It’s special, really, not just because I wanted to wear it, but because she really wanted to make it for me and see it brought to life.

So I feel like, for the first time, I’m bringing a character to life for her, not just for myself, and it makes me feel beautiful  🙂  And I had one of those moments when a person looks at you and really sees the character, not you in costume, and it was amazing.

So, Moon Prism Power  ❤

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A Look Back: The Fried Chicken Incident

Once upon a time, back in October 2013, I wrote an article about plus sized cosplay for xoJane.  I also fried chicken and posted pictures online.

So let’s talk about that chicken!

Which came first: the chicken or the rant?  I’m no stranger to cosplay, nor am I a stranger to ranting about anything that gets under my skin.  But this one incident is the one that seemed to really make an impact.  So I’m going to revisit it in honor of this page.

 

It all started with Princess Peach

Princess-Peach-super-smash-bros--brawl-164655_400_329

Back in August my partner and a good friend of ours went to an anime convention.  I decided that I wanted to get some good pictures of my Princess Peach cosplay since I was going to retire it.  If you keep up with my cosplay page you know that the cosplay is no longer in retirement.  This is because of this incident.  But honestly, the costume was originally worn at the Super Smash Brothers BRAWL launch at the GameStop I use to work at, so it’s been in my lineup for years.  The fact that it’s so popular still kind of amazes me, it wasn’t nearly as popular before this happened..

Princess Peach and Yoshi

The day I wore it, my hair was curled up from a previous cosplay.  My partner and our friend told me to keep the curls with Peach instead of wearing the wig I normally wear.  I decided to give it a shot.  Now I wasn’t really the type to share cosplay pictures in online groups too much.  My partner shared the pictures because she makes my costumes, and I’d at least post them on my Facebook, or Tumblr, or whatever personal page I had.  I never really made an effort to submit them to a group, but there’s a lot of great groups where I’d see a lot of cool cosplay and generally awesome, supportive, creative people. So I had started to share my pictures more often.  After the convention, I shared my Princess Peach pictures on a group called “Cosplaying While Black” on Tumblr and got a surprising amount of hits on it.  I wasn’t expecting so many people to like the cosplay, especially to the point of it hitting the thousands.  It was pretty neat.

But then… it happened.

As a plus sized, black cosplayer, part of me always has this “on guard” mentality when it comes to cosplay.  You hear so many horror stories of people being made fun of, so I kind of have this portion of my brain that’s just waiting for the day when someone says something.  Honestly, this isn’t just because of the horror stories of cosplay.  This is just from living life.  Being plus sized, being black, being female, being in a relationship with a woman, those are all things that people can — and do — poke at.  I don’t have a tragic background of always being bullied growing up, but things have been said that still brings out that paranoid voice when I’m about to share my cosplay.  “Someone is going to have something to say that’s going to hurt your feelings.”

And that’s what happened with my Princess Peach cosplay.

 

Words can, and do, hurt

So there’s a couple of things that happened in that moment.  It hurt, first and foremost.  I know there are people out there who will tell you to brush off insults and just be you, but here’s the honest truth: it still hurts to hear.  No one likes being called names and the first reaction may not be a resounding “fuck you,” but an, “ow… wow.”  So, that’s the first thing that happened.

The second thing that happened was me trying to figure out how to respond, or if I should respond at all.  This always gets mixed responses, I think.  Half of the world will tell you to respond, to strike back, and to not take any crap from someone. The other half will tell you to ignore it, to laugh it off and go about your day.  Responding only escalates the situation, so you might as well leave it alone.  While I see both sides to that argument, I feel like being quiet for too long just excuses bad behavior, especially on the internet or any source where others are watching.  People could see that comment that was made about my costume.  People could see me being called “Princess Whale” and “Precious” (yes, this Precious) and “Princess Wonderball.”  If nothing was said in response, people would think that that was o.k.  Or, people would see yet another plus sized cosplayer being picked on and decide that going out into the cosplay community wasn’t worth it, because if this one cosplayer is being picked on, surely they themselves would be picked on, too.

I didn’t respond directly to the person.  I didn’t message them in a, “Hey, cut it out,” sort of manner.  I just posted on my Tumblr.  “Wow this is actually happening.”  I also posted that whales are cute so, yay, at least I was being compared to a cute animal.  As for “Precious,” well, Gabourey Sidibe is a successful actress, so I took that as a win.

I learned, quickly, that as much crap that happens with bullying in the cosplay community, overall the community is supportive.  They’re supportive without you even asking them to be supportive.  Suddenly, there were people responding to this comment, people I didn’t even know, and I sat back, shocked, to see so much support.  Of course, this didn’t stop my bully from saying anything else.  Every supportive comment led to another attack, not just of me, but of the people supporting me.  Then a comment was made about me looking like I was in a hurry to go and fry chicken, since my Princess Peach cosplay comes with her weapon in Smash Brothers — a frying pan.

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Fried Chicken for the Cosplay Soul

I’m not sure how this epiphany happened.  I wish I had an answer, but I really don’t. Maybe I was just growing tired of the comments.  Maybe I was getting frustrated because people were saying things like, “This is why I don’t cosplay,” and no one should ever be afraid of cosplay.  Bullies like this just can’t be talked to.  There is, literally, no point in trying to change their mind.  So I was done trying to do something against that bully.  Instead, I would do something to show others that, you know what?  If someone gives you a hard time, don’t let it stop you.  Don’t let it stop you from being who you are.

When life gives you bullies, fry chicken.

And that’s exactly what I did.

chicken senpai

I remember my mother calling me when I posted the pictures of my fried chicken along with the reasons behind it.  I got a heartfelt laugh and a, “That’s my girl!”  Ironically, it was the best batch of fried chicken I had ever made.

 

Baby’s First Big Rant

While this incident certainly wasn’t the first time I’ve ranted about something, it was the first time that I responded to someone saying something against me in such a way.  This gave birth to the article I wrote, and, in the long run, this page I have now.  For some reason my mother likes my rants.  Apparently, so do other people, too.  So I’m going to cosplay my heart out and, occasionally, rant.  As for frying chicken… honestly, I actually don’t do it that often, but in that moment, it was the most symbolic dinner I had ever made.